Subject:     My intro
Sent:        4/25/97 11:31 AM
Received:    4/25/97 12:38 PM
From:        Clifford Hartleigh Low,
Reply-To:    NYCgoth-L,
To:          NYCgoth-L,

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I'm the friendly one.

Greetings and salutations, ignorant and servile wretches, demonic dandies and eerie flappers, scary things which lurk under the bed, scary things which go bump in the night, and scary things which make the bed go boingy boingy in the night. I am Clifford Hartleigh Low, your vain and mostly despised elist co-tyrant.

My purpose in life is to spread suffering and chaos, while occasionally cracking insensitive jokes, engaging in acts of blasphemy and perversion, and making nicey nice to the forces of cruelty, oppression, entropy, and tooth decay. Or so my PR guy tells me.

I'm the all-american boy next door who pulled off the wings of flies as a wee thing, burned cats with scalding water as a young teenager, built a small biowar experimentation facility in his basement as a late teenager, and went to NYU to study Psychiatry as a young adult. You can see there's a progression, can't you?

Since then, I've decided to destroy the human race and have been trying to figure out whether supporting the NRA is sufficient for the task. My short term goal is to kill all the people who have ever pissed me off, and weed out those likely to try something funny. Perhaps I am overambitious, but at least I'm well meaning.

In my spare time, I engage in rituals of black magic so malign and perverse that most Satanists blanch. For kicks, I bathe in gallons of animal blood and root for the bad guys on the evening news. I have a collection of videos depicting various surgery close ups over which I have dubbed the audio from porn movies. I have a history of organizing get togethers which result in dramatic life-threatening injuries to both attendees and innocent bystanders. The last one required four people to mop up the gore, and one spoilsport to make sure I didn't use my tongue.

Once I met a woman who was demonically possessed. We were so impressed with each other that we flirted for over two months, until the creature decided that it couldn't stand my support of infanticide and cannibalism. What a wuss! It's a pity we never got involved, because as everyone knows, Teaneck is only a stones throw away from the regions infernal. I hear the community board down under is looking for web designers, too; positions are perm-to-eternal. And besides, a chick who can turn her head like that is probably a lot of fun in the sack.

Much to my surprise, people seem to find me vaguely amusing, but then again, that's what they said about GG Allin.

As you can probably tell from the general mood and language of this note, I've been hanging out with the Baron lately.

Anyway, if you actually want to know useful information about me, get out your dissection kit and I'll probably open up.


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 -               \\  **  Clifford Hartleigh Low  **  //               -
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 -               Save the lions. Feed them Christians.                -